OCD 1

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Writing down OCD thoughts can help alot



Hey everyone,

I realized that writing down OCD thoughts can be really helpful. I made up this 'design' of a journal that fit my needs for carrying out ERP for OCD. Hopefully it'll continue to work for me.

So what I did is this:

Day 1 (I write the day down)

Thought 1 (I write the thought number)

CD (I write down the initials of the compulsion. For example, 'CD' stands for 'Close Door'. And you can be more specific, for example, writing the amount of times which you wish to close the door.)

Goal: Day 2 (Set a goal. Say to yourself, I am going to resist this thought until Day 2. If the thought persists until the next day, then write the same thought down in Day 2 and set another goal until Day 3, and so on.)

Thought 2

Thought 3

etc.

(And then)

Day 2

Thought 1

(Write initials of compulsion)

Goal: Day 3 (If you want, you can set the goal to a farther day. But I believe that resisting it for one day is a big success in and of itself, because it really can be energy consuming to resist even if only for a single day.)

Thought 2

Thought 3

etc.

Day 4

And so on.

I'll keep you updated on how it works for me.

Until then, I guess all I can say is that we should stay strong, and carry on.

With love,
Tareq

Thursday, November 21, 2013

God Forsaken. Excerpt #6

  A girl in heaven receives a book called the Book of Light from God, and she is asked to read. The light of God is shining in colors that she’s never witnessed before. The plain of heaven is sea-through, and the plain rests above hovering clouds. She opens the book, and she reads, ““How can you disbelieve in God when you were lifeless and he gave you life? He will let you die once more, then bring you back to life again, whereupon you will be returned to him.”

An Excerpt from God Forsaken. Purchase the book, or get the first 20% of it free on the link below!


The Deep Darkness of God



Curse the skies and the illusory hope that it brings
Tied in tightly by the devil's cursed strings
Rip my heart out and lift it beating to the sky
Tear my soul out and release the infinite cries

Drag my feet through the wastelands of horrid sorrow
An ounce of light from the angels I ever wish to borrow
Yet the greed of God haunts me all through my jagged days
To hell with your blissful revelations, here what I have to say!

Ignoring your servants as they cry for you to a hint of grace
Yet you carry on leaving them stranded and lost without trace
I've rebelled like Diabolis who was ever so truthfully right
For knowing the deep darkness of God beneath his supposed might

The Hereafter



The heavens and the hells cannot calm down this wrecked mind
Release me from this body so that chaos shall unwind
Heart is pounding and descending into the arms of sorrow
No longer do I wish to see the not so hopeful tomorrow

Legs ache as they walk on through the deserted lands
Oh dear mercy, guide me through and take my hands
For hell is something that has ascended up into my world
Forever my mind is a spiral in an eternal twirl

Screams and callings to angels bring nothing but empty tears
I shout out at the sky but no God will ever hear
The sincerity of my cries and the pain that it holds
There's nothing to hope for, even though the hereafter may unfold

Torn



Madness and fury fills in my troubled soul
Screams of treachery ache my body in whole
Fear twists and consumes specks of hope
Slipping away from the ties of God' rope

Disbelief in God's grace slowly fills up my mind
If only I can reset to a earlier place, to rewind
For this madness can crumble mountains far and wide
Oh dear God, trust in my long awaited suicide

Redness of the eyes boil up with the hunger for relieving blood
Slit away at my wrists until the entire bathroom is in flood
Stare into the mirror and wish that I was never at all born
I'd ask God for help, but this spirit is far too torn


DAY 1 WITHOUT COMMITTING SUICIDE

fuck you wallpaper 1920x1200 - WALLPAPERS!!! 2!!!! 6DIG6

Hey everyone,

I'm going to start a series of post that only has to do with the mere notion of SURVIVAL. Let's see if I can make it to DAY 100 without committing suicide because of this blasted OCD that's ruining my life.

So currently, I'm on DAY 1:

Went to university today, and spent pretty much almost all the time performing stupid fucking rituals. They make no goddamn sense! Everything has to do with doing something in a certain way and a certain number of times. FUCK OCD. It should be banned. It should be outlawed by the physical laws of the universe. No one deserves to get his mind fucked twenty four hours of the day. Everyone should have the right to peace of mind. But with this shit, it never seems to come my way.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

God is love



I've begun to realize that the Misbaha is working, and that the remembrance of God through the words, "There is no strength or might except with God" is truly aiding me in my conquest over OCD.

Although there is a sticky thought which involves the fear of the number 4 (it's actually a big fear), I am holding on to see what this technique can do for me.

So I'm still on DAY 1 of overcoming my OCD using the remembrance of God. Hope it'll work out well!